Forgiveness is like a muscle that needs coaching and practice


Diseases like back pain or depression and blood pressure problems could be caused by our inability to forgive. Research shows that learning to forgive has multiple health benefits.

Forgiveness is like a muscle
that needs coaching and practice

By Sabina Covo

It is very common to have been offended or mistreated by someone during the course of our frantic lives. No matter how harsh the situation may have seemed at the time, pain is one of those feelings that is as relative; what is very painful for some may not be so for someone else. The common denominator is the presence of anguish and that is when the person fights to get rid of the debilitating pain and begins to recuperate. Learning how to forgive can be the answer to rid us of negative feelings and emotions, but it can also be the most challenging moment in the process of rehabilitating from a wounding situation. Read here more about health.


One of the most common misconceptions about forgiveness is that we should forget what happened. Forgiveness doesn’t mean to forget, it means to heal and be able to go on without resentment in our lives. Dr. Jeanette Raymond Ph.D., a psychologist in Los Angeles, CA explains, “Research published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine has shown that forgiveness has multiple health benefits, including lowering blood pressure, improving sleep, maintaining energy levels and reducing medications for anxiety.”

Forgiveness has also been found to decrease psychological distress including restlessness, hopelessness and nervousness. “It is about disliking the hurt but seeing the perpetrator as human and about equalizing the playing field as humans rather than trying to make up for the pain by exerting power and holding onto hurt” she adds.

Once we forgive, we can remember what was hurtful and feel no pain. “If we keep in our mind the suffering, we generate a series of physical and emotional illnesses, which can lead to states of depression and likewise, create serious ailments like cancer”, Says Rommy Wi, a life coach and motivator in Miami, FL. The technique she recommends is “to stand in front of a mirror and repeat that we forgive ourselves and the person or persons who we think did us harm”.


Personal forgiveness of painful events and actions has proven to be both healthy and beneficial as a start for the restorative process. “Un-forgiveness is like an emotional prison – we lock up our negative feelings about a person and we hold onto them. It actually ties us to that person – even if the person is someone we’d rather forget.” Explained Sandy Walker, a member of the American Counseling Association.

According to Fred Luskin, Ph.D., cofounder and director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project “Forgiveness is like a muscle: When you practice on smaller things, you gain the skill to deal with bigger ones. Learning to practice it today can make you more resilient against future hurts.” The benefits of forgiving don’t stop there, “The International Journal of Cardiology published this year a study that suggests that forgiving and treating anger is related to a healthier heart and lowers the risk of heart disease. Acknowledge the pain, recognize responsibility and offer forgiveness. “Adds Walker. And be happier. ■

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Published by Sabina Covo

Nombrada como una de las colombo americanas más influyentes en el sur de la Florida por The Americas Community Center and Broward County, y galardonada como uno de los 20 mejores profesionales de menos de 40 años en el sur de Florida por Brickell Magazine en 2013, Sabina Covo cuenta con más de catorce años de experiencia en periodismo, escritura y consultoría en comunicaciones, tanto en Estados Unidos como en América Latina. Ha sido reportera, presentadora de noticias de televisión y radio, y corresponsal de Telemundo 51, donde comenzó su carrera en el año 2000, ha trabajado para Mundofox, Cadena Ser, La W Radio y Caracol, La Televisión Nacional de Austria, Prisa, Canal Cartagena y ADN Chile. incluyendo convenciones nacionales democráticas y republicanas. Sabina ha entrevistado a personalidades como la secretaria de Estado Madeline Albright, los presidentes colombianos Álvaro Uribe y Juan Manuel Santos o la estrella internacional Julio Iglesias para nombrar algunos. Ella ha cubierto elecciones desde 2004 incluyendo convenciones nacionales Sabina Covo fundó su agencia de relaciones públicas Sabina Covo Communications LLC con sede en Coconut Grove en 2014. En 2008 obtuvo un premio Building Our Community Award de la entidad internacional March of Dimes por su trabajo dentro de la organización y en 2009 fue nominada por la Cámara de Comercio de Coral Gables con un “Raising Star Award”. Se graduó de la Universidad Internacional de la Florida con un grado de Comunicaciones y Ciencias Políticas en 2001. Sabina started her career as a journalist in 1999. She graduated with a Communications Degree from Florida International University and has worked as a journalist, TV and Radio Anchor and Reporter for different stations and print publications in Latin America and the US including Caracol, W Radio, Austrian National Television, America Teve, Canal sur, NBC and Telemundo. She served as the director of Media Relations for Gordon Reyes and Associates in Miami and was nominated for a Raising Star Award by the Coral Gables Chamber of Commerce. She has a Building our Community award for her collaboration with the March of Dimes, and is part of Sharing for Kids. Sabina is a columnist for El Nuevo Herald in Miami, and a TV Contributor for America Teve and CNN.

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